3 Keys to Building Stress-Free Relationships at Work
In my quest to solve the stress problem in today’s business world, I found there is a BIG MISUNDERSTANDING in the minds of knowledge workers.
It seems that most people believe that the purpose of their job is to hit targets. Hence they are always chasing numbers, unsatisfied with where they are and feeling pressure to achieve results every day.
… but here’s the thing.
We are NOT in the game of achieving targets…
We are in the game of BUILDING TRUST.
Performance targets are only a (very) simplified way of expressing what is expected of a future real-life situation. In this article I give you the 3 keys to Building Stress-Free Relationships in the Office which have transformed the lives and careers of hundreds of my clients. You will get the most value out of this article when you: 1) read it with an open mind, 2) are ready to challenge your old assumptions and 3) prepare to take action: to apply the lessons in your own unique personal situation.
You are in the game of trust, because you exist by virtue of your relationships. Without your relationships to others, you would be nobody. Your relationships are your “social capital”. Difficult to express in terms of money, but worth A FORTUNE in terms of time and energy. Because when you have truly genuine, positive relationships, these friends will always take care of you. Hence remember: it is not your status or your level of productivity, but your REPUTATION in the office which defines how bright your future looks.
Building an awesome reputation is simple. Stephen Covey taught us to think of every relationship as a bank account. The higher the account balance, the more trust in the relationship. When you add value to the relationship, it is added on to the bank account. When you take value from it, it is deducted. Make sure that all your relationships are in the positive and you virtually work stress-free.
In my experience as a middle manager and as a coach, I learned that more than anything, these 3 things deserve your focus every moment of every day. Once you choose to focus on these things more than anything else, all day, every day… you find yourself building positive relationships with anybody, any time.
- Be in a good mood. Because everybody wants to be around a positive person. And nobody likes negativity. If you are not sure what a “good mood” truly looks like, start by telling yourself to: 1) smile and look people in the eye, 2) ask meaningful questions and 3) appreciate everybody for who they are. This explains why people with high emotional intelligence are so successful (as advocated by E.I. thought leader Daniel Goleman).
- Always do what you promised to do (or openly renegotiate an agreement before it expires).
- “Step into their shoes”: view the world through the eyes of the other person, so that you better understand their world. What do they believe? What are their goals? Which are their fears? Which questions can you ask to find out how can you help them get what they want?
Do you notice how none of these things cost a lot of time? Instead, they only require a certain amount of BRAIN POWER to be available. Always remember that your mind needs to be stress-free, calm and focused to be able to build great relationships at work.
Do you want to be in full control of your work relationships in the office? Then you NEED a system: an “external memory” to support your busy mind. Because your mind cannot remember every little thing you promise. Your mind also does not remember every question you want to ask. And of course, you want to capture every idea you have that can add value to the lives and careers of your friends. Without such a system, your relationships are suffering from doubt and insecurity.
You NEED to have an “external memory” system to keep track of these things, so that your mind is empty and free to be present in the now, ready to deal with whomever or whatever is in front of you mindfully: with full focus, attention and appreciation.
This is not about finding a shortcut to success. This is about living with integrity. Does this message resonate with you? Then act in integrity and take action. Admit there are tons of things you can improve in how you organize your work in the office. Admit that you are far from stress-free right now.
It is time to stop chasing targets and start doing the fundamental work. Be critical of your own excuses and grow the discipline to do the right thing anyway. “I don’t have time”, “I don’t have the money”, “I already know about time management”… the stories we tell ourselves that keep us stuck where we are.
Your reputation is everything, so every day you spend without an “external memory system” is a day spent in arrogance, ignorance and unneeded stress.
Do you truly want to have awesome relationships? I have spent the last eleven years crafting the perfect relationship management strategy. Fast, simple, cheap, practical, and proven by hundreds of professionals just like you. It is called the Stress-Free Work System. This simplest, most practical “external memory” methodology on the market. Hundreds of professionals from different ages, cultures, genders and industries have called it life-changing. You can now set up your own unique Stress-Free Work System risk-free and it only takes you a few hours.
There are no more excuses. This is as simple, fast and cheap as it gets. The best possible investment in the happiness of your life and career. Now it is up to you. Keep living under stress and pressure, or invest in a bright future?
Go to this registration page to read about the Stress-Free Work System Implementation Program. The current offer is available for limited time only, so do not wait. For an investment less than that of a weekend away with the family or a crazy night out with friends, you become the Ultimate Relationship Manager.
Written with Love, from Amsterdam, the Netherlands. I wish you a lot of friends, fun and fulfillment.
The Stress-Free Relationship Manager,